“Do ‘It’ For America Act” to Save Social Security, Medicare

April 1, 2014

in Travel Humor

  • SumoMe

Yesterday was the final day for uninsured Americans to enroll in “Obamacare,” health insurance coverage mandated under the Affordable Care Act.

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Today, the U.S. government announced a plan that would provide perpetual funding for Social Security and Medicare.

While retired American workers may feel that they’ve “paid their dues” and that’s what makes it possible for the federal government to provide them with a least limited retirement and health care benefits, it’s actually the Social Security and Medicare taxes withheld from the paychecks of the youngest members of the U.S. workforce that keeps those entitlement programs afloat.

Social Security

(401(k) 2013 Flickr Photo)

But the problem with relying on those younger workers to pay the freight for retired workers’ benefits is that there just weren’t enough kids born in the last 20-30 years to make that pool of tax-paying youngsters large enough to fund the “upkeep” of the older generation of Americans.

To pump-up the U.S. birthrate, President Obama and a bipartisan group of Congressmen are taking to the airways and “the stump” to sell the American public on the “Do ‘It’ For America Act.”

Under that proposed law, drafted by the U.S. Travel Association, Americans of child-bearing age would be urged to take at least two weeks off work every year and vacation at a romantic destination. The government hopes that a break from the daily grind at the office or factory will result in a significant increase federal revenues in future years if  those workers have an opportunity right now to lie back and, well, do “what comes naturally.”

The General Accounting Office predicts that if “DIOFA”—as its known on Capitol Hill—is enacted, within forty years Social Security retirement benefits will reach 75% of employees’ pre-retirement earnings, Medicare will no longer have a deductible or co-payments, and the national debt will have been completely erased.

Obamas

(Steve Jurvetson Flickr Photo)

Holding hands with with First Lady Michelle Obama as he left the Capitol Building after a joint meeting with Congress, the President said,

“I give credit where credit is due. The idea for the ‘Do “It” For America Act’ came to my wife and I while using Google’s Chromecast dongle to watch a YouTube video produced by Denmark on the big-screen LCD TV in the bedroom of our ‘Western White House’ in Hawaii. Danish Americans, and the entire population of Solvang, California’s ‘Little Denmark,’ should be proud that their relatives back in the ‘old country’ came up with this brilliant concept for enriching the lives of their elderly citizens.”

Mrs. Obama smiled radiantly in response to a news reporter’s question “Is it true that there will soon be another Obama living in The White House?”

“The President has finally conceived legislation that we are up for,” said Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, Jr.” Rep-Kentucky.

Boehner Photo

(USDA Flickr Photo)

Speaker of the House, John Boehner, remarked that even though it was Democratic Congresswoman and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi who introduced the “Do ‘It’ For America Act” in the House of Representatives, he and his Republican colleagues, including the entire Tea Party contingent, were happy to “jump in bed with her on this bill.”

WARNING! WHILE THE FOLLOWING VIDEO DOES NOT REALLY CONTAIN “ADULT-CONTENT” AND PROBABLY WOULDN’T BE X-RATED BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCATION OF AMERICA, IT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR VIEWING BY YOUNG CHILDREN, WHO MOST LIKELY WOULDN’T GET “IT”ANYWAY, OR BY THOSE WHO ARE BY NATURE, PRUDISH ABOUT S-E-X.”

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(Tales Told From The Road publisher, Dick Jordan, thanks Chris Christensen, “The Amateur Traveler,” for bringing that Danish YouTube video, and the NPR report about it, to his attention during yesterday’s “This Week in Travel” episode—available as Google Hangout on Air YouTube video and also as an audio podcastjust in time for Tales Told From The Road readers to learn about “Do It For Denmark” from this April Fools’ Day travel news report. Our regular Tuesday “Destination Updates” story will return next week. No foolin’! Seriously! We cannot tell a lie, except today, of course!)

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